On your darkest days...
It's been a few weeks since I've written anything. It would seem that life has a unique way of pulling you in & out of storms. We often times piss & moan at these minor inconveniences, how dare we be forced to deal with such matters. At the end of the day, these storms can teach us so much about ourselves & the world around us if we let it. I personally went through what I'd refer to as a funk, I don't want to call it a depression, as that seem so cliche, but I'd say a 2-3 week funk is about accurate. Sometimes as artists we become creatively frustrated when things aren't going our way. Perhaps an audition didn't work out, we feel stuck... "why am I not there yet?" we say to ourselves. It would seem I couldn't dig myself out. Even as others were trying to dig me out unbeknownst to them. "Great scene Gabe" "I love what you've written" "Such a funny scene, can't wait to see more"... for some reason it all fell on deaf ears. It just never made me feel better. I felt trapped & the weight of my day job & family matters was starting to pull me down as well.
However, Inspiration came in a very strange place & I started to escape my funky town funk, where I had since become mayor. I ended up with a serious case of Pneumonia that put me out of commission for 2 weeks. As I was sitting in the doctors office getting my chest X-ray, the infection made me realize how fortunate I was just to be healthy at a time, it made me feel grateful to work with such an amazing acting community, I felt grateful to be able to pursue my own creative direction no matter what I should choose to do. I felt slightly ridiculous that it took an serious illness to show me what had been in front of me the whole time. I suddenly felt born again, I felt creative inspiration again, most of all I felt grateful to wake up everyday & be pursue a creative dream. It's so incredibly easy to become discouraged in this business, there's just so many dark-sides, whether it be the drama, narcissism or constant rejection... but it's important that we never lose sight of what's truly important on a fundamental level... that the universe allows us to create something truly unique on this planet of ours.... that alone is something that should never be forgotten or ignored because on your darkest days it can serve as the ultimate source of creative inspiration.
Onward,
